Friday, November 9, 2007

Oh...The Things We Do

Has boredom ever made you do some seemingly inane things? Okay, so I wasn't EXACTLY bored because I was, after all, knitting, but being that I'm one of those strange people that really doesn't like complete quiet I had the TV on for background noise. So, it's late night, which means that basically I'm stuck with re-runs of TV shows that either aired earlier in the day/night, earlier in the week/month, or are pretty much all through and didn't do too well the FIRST time it ran. Well, I did manage to watch the CSI/Without a Trace crossover...which was really frickin' good and NOT a re-run, so the TV wasn't a complete waste, but still. I cast on and began to knit a ballband dishcloth(from Mason Dixon Knitting of course!) through that, and then through some re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond(which really isn't a bad show at all), and then through the Simpsons(love them), and THEN through other shows (Something with George Lopez in it, and before that some other shows that didn't stand out enough to recall), et al when suddenly the mildly entertaining shows switch over to completely stupid. That's right. On comes BLIND DATE, and boy did they start this one off with a bang. They bring out this couple "Mike" and "Tess".

Tess is some kind of supposedly "normal" girl, that still manages to dress completely slutty and give off the bad-girl impression while still being wound tighter than a cat's ass, and Mike...well, Mike is "special". And not in a good way. His little intro about himself is basically all about how he wants sex, sex, and more sex. And according to him, any way he can get it is good with him. He'll beg for it, and probably even pay for it, making himself sound like a complete and total sex-obsessed loser (Okay, so if you're on the show Blind Date, you probably already ARE a loser, right?), as most men are so he should fit right in. Right? Wrong. He then goes on to say that he is "so wild, he thought he was insane" and sought out psychiatric help. Good on you buddy. And while you're at it, here's the door.

He opens the date up by presenting Tess with some silk flowers. Yep. Silk. Flowers. Not even real ones. Fake ones. And, to make it worse, he stole them from somebody's grave. Yep. I didn't believe it, but then they showed a clip on the show of him earlier that day, taking the flowers from the grave. Oh, dear god, kill me now. It was horrible. I had to shut it off before I stabbed my strongest metal knitting needles into the TV and risked getting myself electrocuted. Tell me, please tell me, that this show is in fact scripted and that none of the above REALLY happened. Tell me, that there are no men out there that would take SILK FLOWERS from somebody's fraggin' GRAVE and then give them to a date with some bullshit reasoning.

Tess: "These came from a GRAVE! They're cursed!"

Mike: "No they're not, they're blessed. Want me to tell you how?"

Tess: "Oh. Suuure."

Mike: "You've gotta figure that the person who put those flowers on that grave really loved the guy, right?

Tess: ~ blank, disbelieving stare~

Mike: "Well, I took them because I wanted to transfer some of that love over to you."

Tess: ~blink, blink...thinking quite obviously that this guy is a fucking nightmare~

Well, I'm with you Tess. Let me tell you something Mike, if you have so much damned respect for the people that left those flowers there then you WOULD HAVE JUST LEFT THEM THERE AND SPRUNG FOR SOME REAL FLOWERS FROM A FLORIST YOU WANNA BE GRAVE DIGGING ASSHAT! Your mother should have taken prophylactics before she fucked the guy that helped spawn you, creep. Whew. God. So glad I'm a lesbian right now and that my wife would never, ever do that. Not even in a million years.

There, I feel better. Now...let's get on to happier subjects. I've been knitting like a mo-fo for the past two weeks, and even though I still feel like I'm getting nowhere with knitting Xmas gifts, I at least have made some progress with Jeffrey's sweater. I just need to knit the sleeves, but I'm procrastinating because apparently I'm addicted to knitting dishcloths. They're so quick, and simple and just play USEFUL that they're just great! I joined two KAL's revolving around dishcloths (Monthly Dishcloth KAL) and Dishcloth Weekly KAL. They're great, because they're two KAL's that provide short knit-along projects, and they're low-pressure. If you want to knit one of the cloths one week, do it, if you don't, then don't. It's all okay. And the yarn's really cheap if you just use Peaches 'n Cream or Sugar 'n Cream. Of course, it's all Ravelry's fault! ;) As soon as I see a dishcloth KAL group, I join it. I don't know why. I just can't seem to resist. I. Must. Try. To. Resist and damn well finish my Xmas knitting first! Hrmm...maybe I'll give away a couple of dishcloths with some home made soap...

Mmmmanyway, progress is progress, right? At least I managed to get some of the rest of the sweater done. See?

It looks pretty cute, but it is HUGE on Jeffrey (or maybe he's just a really tiny two-year old, I don't know), but he is simply the cutest kid. Really, really is.

See? Adorable! He definitely gets all his charm from his mother, but he totally has his father's craziness.

That's Mike for ya. Don't ever give a gummy eye to a crazy person because this is what they come up with. ;) Great guy. Very nice and just silly enough so he fits in quite nicely when he's around me and the DW. So, a lot of my knitting is done in his house too. Him and DW sit on the counch and play Resident Evil and me and his DW are forced to find other forms of entertainment, so I knit and semi-watch and poor Kirsten falls asleep because she gets up super early in the a.m. with little Jeffrey, who has to have the most energy a two year old has ever had. Seriously. Kooky little kid.

Speaking of kids, you'd think that my DW was one with the way she acted this past Halloween. We both got dressed up, but I just went as a semi-dirty gypsy while she went as a convicted murder after they remove him/her from the electric chair. I know. she's a sicko, but I love her. :)

I'm just a sweet little gypsy, and there I am with this crazy, burnt to hell mo-fo draped all over me. Hehehe. And yes, that's a vegetable steamer on her head, but
it did manage to look like the little helmet they put over your head while you're waiting to be sizzled. All in all, it was a good time. We really only went out and trick-or-treated with Mike and his family,ex GF and his older kids and such. It was a huge group, and it was fun. Plus, I managed to score lots of free candy because Steph took a bag and went around with the older kids to all the side streets AND the main strip of houses that we were hitting up.

Oh yeah, I've been eating that for breakfast for a loooong time, especially since there are TONS of peanut M&Ms in that pile. I love peanut M&Ms. So I pretend I'm on a sugar-only diet...until I feel guilty enough that I have to fix myself a salad to go along with that helping of TWIX. Not a bad combo really, if you don't think about it too much.

In any case, more knitting. In the spirit of Halloween I started to work on Marley's Ghost, but have neglected to pick it up since I first began knitting it simply because I've been crazy over dishcloths. But, here's what I have so far.

I like the pattern, but I'm just in this phase where I want instant gratification.
For instance, this dishcloth was quick. Really quick. It was my first KAL for the Month Dishcloth, and though I originally screwed it up (the squirrel had three extra arms and a weird spot on its tail) and had to frog the whole thing, I re-knit it in a matter of four hours! But, I don't have a pic of the completely finished project, so you'll have to deal with what I do have.

Now if I can only find an acorn patterned cloth, that dishcloth Squirrel would have something to damn well eat! And while I was both re-knitting that dishcloth and playing around on Ravelry, here's what my wife was doing!

Baking cookies from scratch!!!!! See, I cook, but she does all the baking. I'm not generally any good at it, so that's really fine by me. For further proof of this phenomenon, please view the following.

Isn't that great? Who else's spouse does that? I know. I'm lucky. And the chocolate chip cookies came out beautifully.

Oh, there were sooo many more cookies than that when they were done, but that was the first batch. And, on top of all that, there's still half a batch of cookie dough left...after four dozen were already baked. Awesome, cookies for later on in the month in the freezer. Love it.

Anyway, I'm headed off to finish my Ballband dishcloth. Yep. Another damned dishcloth. Gotta love 'em. :)



COOKIES! CANDY!! If you keep showing pictures of those things, I might have to stop by more often. :D I definitely had cookies for breakfast yesterday.

Jeffrey is freaking adorable. And he doesn't look that small to me, my two and a half year old looks about that big. Your DW's Halloween costume ROCKS! Aside from being creative, it was also pretty well done. Nice.

Caroline said...

Your wife is lucky she has someone who appreciates her cookies! My girl doesn't like sweets, so whatever I bake she doesn't eat. It sucks because I have the compulsive need to bake something once a week. Luckily the trick or treaters completely wiped out our huge candy stash in an hour.

Coincidentally, I was eyeing a dishcloth swap on Ravelry yesterday. I've never made a discloth because I can't stand the thought of something I've knit being used to scrub greasy pans, but if I give mine to someone else I could be blissfully ignorant of the fact. it also seems like a good first swap because it's relatively quick and easy.

Maria Elena said...

You crack me up! I LOVE it! Jeffrey is adorable. The cookies look Mmm-Mmm good! Did you say CANDY?!

I am a recovering dishcloth junkie!! I had to force myself to knit other things. I do love the instant gratification though.

Lick My Sticks said...

Ahem...THIS spouse bakes! ;)

Dishcloths are pretty damn addictive!

Melody said...

i bake freakin' cookies once a week.. cookie tuesday! by the time everyone gets home from school & work. i'm in a cookie overeating induced coma.. with a ballband draped over my eyelids.

Elspeth said...

Great sweater! And extremely scary date story.